


another chance at happiness.

by porcelainsimplicity



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 16:20:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8997988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/porcelainsimplicity/pseuds/porcelainsimplicity
Summary: He turned and at first all he saw was long, silky brown hair cascading over a shoulder, leading down to a sapphire blue dress that clung tightly to the woman's very fit body. And then she turned her head, and Cassian realized he was checking out Jyn Erso.Or: after his divorce, Cassian Andor is lost. Then he reconnects with Jyn Erso.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Scarlett_Phoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlett_Phoenix/gifts).



> hello all! i come bearing a christmas present for the lovely Scarlett_Phoenix and to share with all of you. i write AUs way better than i write canon stuff, so here's yet another. i put the alternate universe - future tag on this because they're like twenty years older in this than they are in the film, but that's the only future thing about it. i hope you enjoy!
> 
> and scarlett, i know that i usually do christmas fic for christmas presents but this year it didn't work out that way. i hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it!

All the furniture had been moved out of the house, all the boxes packed into a truck and sent to their appropriate destinations, but Cassian Andor couldn't bring himself to leave. He was sitting on the floor in an empty room, thinking back on all the memories that had been made within those four walls. The Christmas morning when he finally proposed. Tossing a tennis ball around the room and watching both the dogs and the toddlers go running after it. The bitter end, when she told him she was leaving and taking the children with her. _I don't know who you are anymore, Cassian. I'm not sure you do either. But I can't live with this person that you've become._

His thoughts were interrupted by the muted sound of his phone ringing in his pocket. He thought about letting the call go to voicemail, thought about answering the phone only to explain that he'd just been informed that his marriage was officially and legally over, but instead he just answered and listened to what they had to say. It turned out to be the chairman of a charity whose first ever award he had won, a man whose name Cassian forgot as soon as he said it, inviting him to come back to the award ceremony to present the award to its newest recipient. To celebrate the anniversary of him winning the award, after all, it had been twenty years, didn't he know? He listened politely to the offer, but he couldn't help thinking it sounded like the absolute last thing in the world he wanted to do.

He told the man he'd see them in June, and could they please send more detailed information to his representation, and thank you for giving him the opportunity. He thought he was polite enough about it considering the circumstances and the fact that he sort of really wanted to burst into tears, especially after the mere mention of the award was enough to bring up memories of his now former wife. And yeah, he'd agreed to do it, but he could always back out of it later. But he thought about how shitty it would be to do that, and he had the phone back in his hands and was sending a text to his agent to absolutely not let him back out of the charity thing he'd soon be hearing about no matter how many times Cassian begged him to get him out of it.

He sat there for a little while more, before getting up and taking one last walk through the house. He'd thought he would spend the rest of his life living here when he'd bought it, and he'd thought the rest of his life would have one specific woman by his side. As he stepped out of the front door and locked up the house for the last time, he couldn't quite believe that this was really happening. But it was, and he had no choice than to get in his car and drive away from the life that he had known, heading into unknown territory with every mile.

 

 

Cassian reached up and awkwardly adjusted the tie that he was reluctantly wearing as he looked around the room. It was filled with all sorts of important people that he figured he probably should know and some of whom he actually did, but he might as well have been in that room alone for all anyone was interacting with him. Of course, there was the small fact that Leia Organa was there. Leia was as lovely and charming as ever, and certainly someone better to speak to than he ever would be. Still he was surprised when he realized someone was standing by his side, sipping at a glass of champagne. He turned and at first all he saw was long, silky brown hair cascading over a shoulder, leading down to a sapphire blue dress that clung tightly to the woman's very fit body. And then she turned her head, and Cassian realized he was checking out Jyn Erso.

“About time you noticed I was standing here,” she said, smiling as she reached out and wrapped Cassian up in a hug. “It's so good to see you, Cassian. Can you believe all of this? Certainly changed a lot since when they honored us.”

Us. It had never occurred to Cassian that Jyn would be invited to return, but in hindsight, he realized how stupid that was. Of course Jyn would be included. He had won the charity's man of the year award, but she had been the first recipient of the woman of the year award.

And he was standing there letting her hug him as though he had no idea who she was.

“Jyn,” he said softly, his arms slowly coming around her to embrace her back. “It's been a long time.”

“Too long,” Jyn said, laughing as she pulled back. “How's the wife? I haven't seen her yet. How are the kids?”

He couldn't help the cringe that came automatically to his face, despite his surprise at the fact that it came at all. He thought he had gotten to a point where people could mention his ex-wife around him and it wouldn't hurt so much, but apparently he was desperately wrong.

“Cassian?” Jyn's voice was filled with concern. “Oh no, I've said something I shouldn't have, haven't I? I've been living in Jedha, I'm so out of touch with everyone and everything, and I am so sorry for whatever it is I've just said, and I ju—” 

“Jyn, stop,” Cassian said, cutting her off. “It's fine. I'm pretty sure hardly anyone knows. Somehow we managed to keep it out of the papers.”

Jyn let go of him and looked him up and down properly, sighing as she took in the sight of him. “You look terrible, now that I look at you. What's happened?”

But Cassian was saved from having to explain everything to her by the chairman whose name he still didn't know taking the stage and asking everyone to find their seats. And though they were sat next to each other, Jyn knew better than to ask any more questions with everyone else around. Cassian found himself half-watching the ceremony going on and half-watching her as the night went on, and he made mental note of the fact that there were no rings upon any of her fingers, though he wasn't entirely sure why he was doing that.

It was entirely too soon to be thinking about another woman. And besides, he was entirely too old for Jyn.

 

 

Six months later, Cassian was wandering through a grocery store trying to find food that he knew the kids would eat that he was capable of actually cooking into some sort of a meal when he turned a corner and ran his shopping cart literally straight into Jyn's. They looked up at one another and laughed, and then Jyn was walking around her cart and Cassian was walking around his and they were embracing again, and this time it wasn't anywhere near as awkward as it had been the last time.

“I thought you lived in Jedha,” Cassian said as they broke their embrace, trying to keep his eyes from traveling up and down her body like they wanted to.

“I just moved back,” Jyn replied, smiling at him. “Like, literally last week. I'm still living out of boxes.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. “Why did you come back?”

“Because I didn't have a reason to stay anymore.” Jyn glanced down at her watch and then back up at Cassian. “Wanna ditch the shopping and go have drinks?”

“Yes,” Cassian said without a second thought, and it was the most truthful thing he'd said in a long, long time.

They ended up walking down the street to a little restaurant that Jyn said she'd discovered the day before, and it turned out to be perfect for their needs. They got a table in a somewhat secluded corner and ordered a bottle of whiskey and two glasses, and Jyn not only started to pour the whiskey, she started to pour out her heart too.

She'd met him on the set of one of her films. He was a producer, and they kept running into one another on different projects and at different events after that. Within six months, they were in love, and after a year, she moved to Jedha to be with him.

“It was great when it was great, and it was horrible when it was horrible,” Jyn said, slowly sipping her drink. “And it just reached a point where it was horrible more than it was great, and I didn't want to be with him anymore. So I moved back here.”

“Why didn't you ever get married?”

“He never asked,” Jyn said, grabbing Cassian's nearly empty glass out of his hands and filling it up again. “And even if he had, I'm not sure I would have said yes. There was always something about it that told me it wasn't right.”

Cassian took his glass back and took a large sip. “Well, I suppose that's better than getting married because it seems like the right thing to do only for it to turn out to be a mistake.”

“Is that why you...” Jyn trailed off as Cassian shook his head.

“No. That's a whole different story.”

“Well, come on then. I told you mine, so you've got to tell me yours.”

Cassian took another sip of his whiskey, then set the drink down on the table and leaned back in his chair. “I don't know, Jyn. Honestly, I don't know. You would be better off asking her.”

“Cassian, I have no idea what that's supposed to mean.”

“It means,” Cassian started, then stopped for a moment to collect himself. “It means I thought everything was fine when apparently it wasn't. It means my now ex-wife told me she was leaving because she didn't like the person I had become when I thought I was the same as I'd always been. It means I have literally no idea why what's occurred over the past year and a half has happened. All I know is that my kids seem distant and she can barely say ten words to me.”

And with that, he picked up his drink and downed the rest of it. “Pour me another.”

 

 

The next morning he woke up in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room, but one look around it and he immediately knew that he was at Jyn's. He had very little memory of the night before, but as he sat up and started to swing his legs out of the bed, he found himself relieved to be fully dressed but for his shoes. It was only when he was sitting up that he realized that his head felt like it was full of cotton wool and his throat was dry and scratchy, and then he remembered the drinks from the night before. The ones at the restaurant and the ones that followed back at Jyn's after the restaurant had closed.

“Cassian? Is that you?” came Jyn's voice from down the hall, and moments later she appeared in the doorway, still dressed in the clothes she'd been wearing the night before. “Good, you're awake. I made coffee.”

At the sound of coffee, Cassian forced himself to get up and stumble down the hallway after her, collapsing down into an overstuffed chair and smiling at her when she brought him a cup. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Jyn said, sitting down on the matching sofa and curling her legs underneath her. “Did you sleep well? You drifted off about three-thirty and I wouldn't dare try to wake you.”

“I don't know,” Cassian said honestly, taking a long sip of his coffee. “I don't remember much about last night beyond us and drinks.”

Jyn laughed. “I never figured you for the type to not remember things the next morning.”

“I don't drink often,” Cassian murmured. “And I certainly don't drink as much as I did last night when I do.”

“Are you okay?” Jyn asked, peering at him over her cup. “Seriously. You kept dodging the question last night. I never did get an answer.”

Cassian sighed and rested his cup on his leg. “I wish I knew the answer to that. I don't know what I am.”

“You busy today?”

“Not a thing in the world to do, like most days.”

“You need to start acting again.”

“Don't say that. I will throw this cup at you.”

Jyn rolled her eyes. “You're one of the best actors alive, Cassian. I know the industry would welcome you back with open arms.”

“I haven't acted in nearly ten years, Jyn.”

“Why?”

“Because when I stopped, I didn't feel like ever starting again.”

“That's ridiculous,” Jyn said, getting up and walking towards the kitchen. “But you need something to do so you're going to hang out on set with me starting next week. No arguing or I'll take away the coffee.”

“I hate you.”

“No you don't.”

 

 

And thus began their routine. Meet up in the morning, head to whatever set Jyn was needed on that day. Cassian would spend most of the day ignoring the whispers of _oh my God, is that Cassian Andor? I think that's Cassian Andor._ while hanging out with the crew and watching as Jyn filmed her takes. Then they would go for drinks afterward at the little restaurant that Cassian had started to think of as theirs, only to head back to either his or Jyn's for more drinks when the restaurant closed.

Of course it was all different on the weekends when Cassian had the kids. Those weekends were reserved just for them, and Jyn never came around. It was on those weekends that he learned about his ex-wife's new boyfriend and found himself sinking back into the state of misery that he had persisted in before Jyn had come back into his life. But then Jyn would call on Sunday evening after the kids had been safely returned to their mother's custody, and Cassian would tell her everything he'd been thinking and feeling throughout the weekend, and Jyn would talk him through it all, even if it took her until two in the morning to convince him that his kids still loved him.

Cassian didn't know what he'd do with her.

 

 

They were lying drunk on the floor of Jyn's kitchen one night months later when she first brought it up.

“You know I used to have the biggest crush on you, right?” she asked, laughing.

Cassian rolled onto his side and propped up his head so he could look down at her. “You had a crush on me?”

“Oh yes,” Jyn said, smiling up at him. “Still do, if I'm honest. In a lot of ways, you were my first love.”

“Your first what?”

Jyn reached out and gently touched the side of Cassian's face. “You have no idea, do you?”

“Jyn...”

“I think I've been in love you since I was fourteen, since we first met on that set in Yavin,” Jyn said softly. “I used to wish so hard that you'd look at me the way you looked at her. I even tried to tell you once, but I stumbled through it and never quite got my point across, and all I remember you saying at the end was that you were too old for me.”

Cassian remembered that conversation far too well for something that should have been a passing thing. “I am too old for you.”

Jyn rolled her eyes and let out a large sigh of disapproval. “You could get away with that excuse when I was eighteen. Not anymore.”

“Jyn...”

“I'm a bonafide adult now, Cassian, not some stupid kid who thinks she is. I've been in love. I've had sex. I've been destroyed by that same love. I know what I'm doing.”

And with that, Jyn leaned up and kissed him. It was soft at first, but then Cassian was overcome by a wave of desire and deepened the kiss, rolling onto his back and pulling Jyn on top of him. They kissed until they were breathless, forced apart by the need for air, and Jyn rested her head on Cassian's shoulder, Cassian's arms comfortable around her waist.

“That was a good kiss,” Jyn declared after a moment.

“Yeah,” Cassian agreed. “It was.”

Neither of them remembered that it had happened when they woke up the next morning, Jyn still in Cassian's arms. Or at least that's what Cassian told himself when Jyn didn't mention it. There was no denying the stain of red lipstick when he looked in the mirror, or the feeling of being thoroughly kissed that still graced his lips. But more than anything else, there was the growing desire deep in his stomach when he looked at her that told him he'd had a taste of her. 

He wanted to ignore it, to pretend it wasn't there, but Cassian knew that wasn't going to happen.

 

 

“So, I'm reading scripts again,” Cassian said one Saturday as they walked into his place. “And it's entirely your fault.”

“Cassian!” Jyn exclaimed, moving into his kitchen and opening cupboards like she owned the place. “That's brilliant. Any good ones?”

“There's this one. It's an untitled script, but it's about a battle in Scarif.”

Jyn turned around with a couple of glasses in her hands. “The one that was written by Orson Krennic?”

“You've heard of it?”

“Heard of it? I've agreed to be the female lead in it. What part do they want you for?” 

“The male lead,” Cassian sighed. “It's a great role, don't get me wrong, but it's been so long since I've done even commercial level stuff, and they want me to be the lead in what sounds like it will be one of the biggest blockbusters of all time? I just don't know about it.”

“Cassian Andor, you're a brilliant actor. Brilliant actors know how to act, whether they last did it ten minutes ago or ten years ago.”

“You really think I could do it?”

“I think I'm going to have a hard time imagining that role as anyone but you now.”

“Well, that's good, I suppose.”

Jyn set the glasses down on the counter and turned to grab the whiskey, but Cassian caught her hand instead. “What?” she asked with a nervous laugh.

“I want to do this while we'll still remember it this time,” Cassian murmured as he pulled her close to him. “Tell me this is okay.”

“It's okay,” Jyn said softly.

Cassian stared at her for a moment before leaning in and kissing her gently. He tried to pull back after a moment but Jyn's arms came up and wrapped around his neck, holding him there as she deepened the kiss. Cassian let his fingers spread across the small of her back, pulling her flush against him, delighting in the soft moan that escaped her. They broke apart only for a quick gasp of air then reconnected, and Cassian felt his desire for her grow.

When they finally separated for more than just a moment, Cassian looked at her nervously, but Jyn just smiled at him.

“Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to do that?”

“You could have made the first move.”

“No, it had to come from you. I knew where I stood when I came out of my relationship. You didn't.”

They drank a little more that evening, and kissed a whole lot more, and when it came time for Jyn to leave, Cassian wrapped his arms around her and simply said, “Stay?”

Jyn leaned up to kiss him again. “Alright.”

Just like that, just like he'd been with the woman who would become his wife all those years ago, Cassian knew he was lost.

 

 

The next time Cassian met up with Jyn, he brought her flowers. The next time Jyn came over to Cassian's, she brought an overnight bag with a couple changes of clothes. Where Cassian was shaky and unsure, Jyn was strong and patient. And slowly, Cassian let himself settle into another relationship, even though he'd sworn off the idea after his divorce.

And then he realized he was happy again.

It hit him hard one Thursday afternoon out of nowhere. He'd gotten to the restaurant a few minutes before Jyn, and when she'd walked in the door, it was like a smack to the face. He was happy.

“I'm happy,” was the first thing he said to her, after giving her a gentle kiss in greeting. “Jyn, I'm happy.”

“What are you happy about?” she asked, smiling and nodding at the hostess as she announced that their table was ready.

Cassian fell into step behind Jyn as they walked to their table and then pulled out a chair for her to sit in before sitting down himself. He waited until the waitress had been over to get their drink orders and Jyn was perusing the menu before trying again. “Jyn, you don't understand. I'm _happy._ ”

“Happy about what?” Jyn asked again, peering at Cassian over the top of the menu.

“About you! About life! About everything!” Cassian exclaimed. “I'm happy again! You've made me happy again! And figuring that out has made me realize that I've been completely miserable pretty much ever since I stopped acting. Years, Jyn, years of my life lost to that misery! And now it's gone.”

Jyn set her menu down and reached across the table to squeeze Cassian's hand gently. “Then it's a good thing we ran into each other in that grocery, isn't it?”

“Yeah, it is.” Cassian turned her grasp on his hand into one of his hand on hers and brought it up to his lips to kiss softly.

 

 

The snapshot was everywhere. On the internet, in the newspapers, in the back of Cassian's mind at all times. At first there was an uproar over the fact that Cassian was having an affair until he had his representation confirm that he had been divorced for some time. Then it turned into cheesy headlines about former co-stars finding love at an advanced age, and those just made Cassian want to break things.

“They do realize you're not even forty, right?” he asked Jyn every time he saw one.

“Oh, honey, don't worry about it,” Jyn responded. “They say I still look like I'm in my twenties. That's the important thing.”

Cassian huffed. “They don't say that I still look like I'm in my twenties.”

“That's because you don't,” Jyn said. “You look far more like a proper, distinguished gentleman now.”

And Jyn said it so lovingly that Cassian couldn't even complain about the fact that a receding hairline and graying hair did not mean he was a proper, distinguished gentleman.

But the headlines bothered him. So did the photographers. And he nearly lost his cool about the whole thing in public one day until Jyn pointed out that it was just the way that the movie industry worked nowadays. She held up a two-page feature in the Alliance about Mon Mothma to prove her point.

Cassian tore the newspaper out of her hands and kissed her to shut her up, and Jyn smiled into the kiss because she knew that she had won.

And that, of course, was the next photograph that did the rounds. Cassian decided to just get over it.

 

 

“I can't do this.”

Jyn looked around from where she was unpacking a box of her things onto one of Cassian's shelves and gave him a look of confusion. “Can't do what?”

“The film. I can't do it.”

“You've already agreed to do it.”

“I know,” Cassian said, throwing himself down into a chair. “But I'm changing my mind.”

“You can't change your mind, honey,” Jyn said, abandoning what she was doing and walking over to sit on the arm of the chair. “Why don't you want to do it?”

“Because I'm going to look like a fool!” Cassian exclaimed. “Do you know how good the rest of this cast is? Do you? Because I looked like enough of a fool back when I acted before, and now I have this silly idea that I'm going to start acting again and I'm going to do it opposite these people? I'm going to look like an idiot!”

Jyn sighed and leaned down, kissing Cassian softly. “You never looked like a fool in anything you acted in. And you won't now.”

“Yes I did,” Cassian huffed. “And I will again.”

“Cassian Andor,” Jyn said, her voice suddenly stern. “You are an Imperial Award winning actor. Do you know how good that means you are? That's some pretty esteemed company you keep. I'd die for an Imperial Award.”

“Doesn't matter. Still going to look like an idiot.”

Jyn kissed him again. “You're not going to look like an idiot. Okay, yes, the rest of the cast is very impressive. Bodhi Rook is super talented, and Chirrut Îmwe and Baze Malbus always have great chemistry whenever they're in the same film. But that doesn't mean you're going to look like an idiot.”

Cassian let out a soft chuckle. “You forgot yourself.”

Jyn slapped at his shoulder. “I'm not going to sit here and claim that I'm good enough to be in an ensemble cast with the rest of you.”

“Then you can't be mad at me for saying I'm going to make a fool of myself.” Cassian looked up at her. “You'd tell me if I was making a huge mistake, right?”

“Yes, I would. And you're not making a huge mistake. Doing this will be good for you.”

“I'm still not convinced.”

Jyn leaned down and kissed him again, this time harder and deeper than before. “Convinced now?”

“No,” Cassian said cheekily, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into his lap. “I think your method is working though. Some more of that and I should be thoroughly convinced.”

 

 

Cassian stood in front of the mirror trying to remember how to tie his tie properly while Jyn was to his right, carefully applying her makeup. “Jyn, I'm terrified.”

“Cassian, there's nothing to be terrified over.”

“Do you realize how long it's been since I've been to one of these award show after parties?” Cassian asked, glancing at her in the mirror as he attempted to create a knot in his tie again.

“Since the year after you won your Imperial, so what, twenty-six years?” Jyn looked over at his reflection. “Nothing to worry about.”

“Nothing to worry about?” Cassian exclaimed, giving up on his tie in frustration. “Do you realize how long it's been since I've seen these people?”

Jyn ignored his frustration and kept working on her eye shadow. “A lot of them you have never met, and of those you have, you saw a lot of them at the charity awards we were at a couple years ago.”

Cassian dropped his hands down to his sides. “I did?”

“Yes, you did,” Jyn sighed and finished with her eye shadow. “What do you remember about the charity awards?”

“Seeing Leia Organa and realizing that you're smoking hot.”

Jyn started to laugh and reached for her mascara. “I knew it! I knew you kept checking me out! I felt your eyes on me so many times!”

“Jyn,” Cassian whined. “Not the point.”

Jyn quickly applied her mascara before setting it down and turning to face him. “Why are you so afraid of seeing everyone? Once upon a time you liked all these people.”

“I do,” Cassian said firmly. “It's just...”

“Just what?”

“I don't know how to address the subject of her and you.”

Jyn stepped closer to him and reached for the ends of his tie, quickly entangling the ends of it into a neat Windsor knot. “Do you think they won't know? Because I hate to break it to you, honey, but the entire world knows about us.”

“They do?” Cassian asked as she tightened the tie around his neck.

“Oh honey, you're not this dense,” Jyn said, leaning up and kissing him softly. “Did you think they would print all that nonsense in the papers and no one we know would find out about it?”

Cassian wrapped his arms around Jyn, letting his fingers spread against the skin of her back where her dress was still unzipped. “I never really thought about it, I suppose.”

“Well, they all know. And from what I've gathered from those I've spoken to, they're all supportive.”

“Really?”

“Yes,” Jyn said. “Come on now, zip me up.”

Jyn turned around and lifted her hair out of the way, and Cassian took in the sight of her naked back for a moment before reaching down and slowly bringing the zipper up. He finished it with a kiss to the back of her neck and felt her tremble slightly. “There.”

“Thank you,” Jyn said softly, letting her hair cascade down her back. “I'll put on my lipstick and shoes and then we can go.”

“Jyn?”

Jyn didn't look up from where she was digging through her makeup bag. “What?”

“You look wonderful tonight. And you are wonderful to me, even when I'm being an idiot. I love you for that.”

Jyn pulled her lipstick out of the bag and turned to give Cassian another kiss. “I love you too. Now go grab my shoes for me? I'm almost done.”

 

 

“And cut! That's a wrap on Cassian Andor, ladies and gentlemen!”

Cassian could hear the crew applaud as he sucked in a couple of deep breaths, feeling the emotions flood through him like a dam had broken. He hadn't been expecting that. He'd missed this, he'd missed acting, and he hadn't even realized how much until just that moment. But, he supposed, you could only realize you missed something like that by experiencing it again. Jyn was there, standing next to the director because she hadn't been in that particular scene, and all Cassian could think about was how right it felt to have had Jyn included in this experience.

He was happy. Happy to be back on a film set. Happy to be taking lines on a page and turning them in a full blooded character. Happy to be making new friends out of really, really talented people. And happy to be doing it with the woman he loved, who loved him despite all his faults, who had talked him into coming here to do this, who had put his world back together.

When his marriage had broken up, he never thought he'd get another chance at happiness. But as Jyn approached him, he silently vowed that he'd never lose the one he'd gotten, nor the one who had given it to him.


End file.
